"Self Love" can sound a bit strange or cliche. But what if it's neither of those things?
What if it's what guides us home to our peace, clarity and self esteem?
Indicators of Low Self Love: Avoiding Mirrors Not hugging yourself, or holding yourself affectionately Speaking negativity to yourself "I'm not good enough" "I couldn't do that" "They're judging me" "I'll fail" "I can't really have what I want" "I should put up with someone else's bad behavior because..." Staying distracted (entertainment, social media, drama) Not believing yourself/validating your own feelings "I shouldn't feel that way." Keeping yourself in bad relationships and/or situations even though you suffer Clutter all around you/over spending Not giving yourself time for play or art or exploration!
If even one of these is a big head nod for you, read on ... Let's see what some of these patterns really mean: Avoiding Mirrors = Not being seen No hugs, physical affection = Not being touched Negative talk = Not given words of love and encouragement Staying Distracted = Not getting presence Not validating your own feelings = Neglect/gaslighting Would you enter into a marriage where your partner did not see you, touch you, encourage you or give you presence, who disregarded your feelings, neglected you and kept you in a negative space? If the answer is no, then it might be time to divorce this part of you, and find a new love within yourself.
This can seem daunting or even for some, silly. Mirror work can make people blush. But it isn't silly, or hard. Loving you is easy, you only need the intention to do so, and a plan.
The best part, I think, is you get to sort of fall in love with yourself. You get to learn you. And that's what Baby Steps to Self Love is. Not going out and getting a pedicure and saying a few nice things to yourself and wondering "Did I do it? Did I love me?" but honestly getting to know yourself, to know what it is that makes you feel loved. What would FILL you?
For me personally, what I love to do is sit in front of a full length mirror, look deeply into my own eyes and be present. I usually hug myself too and end with a few words like "You are fabulous as you are, and you can do anything." *blushes* It feels wonderful. But this might not work for John or Alyssa, or you! And the way you need love will change and evolve over time and with life changes and circumstances.
But don't worry! Once you learn how to love you, it will be your automatic go-to. A LOT of us have not trained this muscle of self, so, let's start slow...
Each day, choose one of these self love practices to play with, and document how you feel afterwards. This will get you in touch with yourself and help you realize what love is to you right now.
The First Baby Steps to Self Love
1. Each day, take 5 to 10 minutes out for yourself. Either lay with your eyes closed or sit, looking into a mirror and ask yourself "What do you need?" It may be a hug, it may be silence, it may be food, it may be too simple be seen or heard. Your inner being will tell you what you truly need, if you take little time outs to listen.
2. Start saying 1 loving thing to yourself each morning after you brush your teeth. It could be something like "You are gorgeous babe." or "I believe in you." or "I love you exactly as you are." Take your time with this and be gentle, love cannot be rushed, but it can be built and nourished.
Do you want to share the love? Send this article to a friend or loved one who deserves more love, or share on your favorite social media platforms.
We're all in this together, my loves.
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